Relationships Are Opportunities to Be The Best We Can Be

Few know that I've been married three times. My first marriage was my first significant relationship. We met when I was 18 years old, and we were together for three years before getting married at 25. We separated on my 34th birthday and we have two children together. I would be the first to admit I wasn't mature enough to be married at 25. I didn't know how to read the red flags in our relationship. I was too idealistic to believe we could work through anything. And being from a family where divorce wasn't an option, I stayed far longer than I should have.

My second marriage happened in the midst of the perfect storm in my life. It was the Great Recession of 2008 and my business was struggling to keep afloat. My father had died of cancer. And the woman I was with for one and a half years was eager to keep me happy - mostly to get married. Fool heartedly, we did get married and a year later, I filed for divorce, again.

At forty, I took a long hard look at myself and how I was being with women in my life. I clearly had some work to do. I took a full audit of my marriages and all of the women I had dated casually. I had seen a therapist for a short time and took counsel with some very close friends. And I had spent considerable time with myself in reflection. I knew deeply that if I wanted to be in a relationship with someone, I had to create the right version of myself, one that could support a meaningful relationship.

And now... I'm happily married. Almost 5 years. I'll be honest, it's not a match made in heaven but there's enough love there to grow past many of our challenges. And each day is an opportunity for me to be the best man I can be, for her, my children and for myself.

When it comes to relationships in your life, what are you longing for? What's important in your intimate relationship? How about your friendships, family, work peers? Where have you failed? What did you learn from your failures? Where have you grown and succeeded?