Creating a Gathering Space For Men

I was in my late teens when I began to look into myself. It began with understanding my Guyanese culture and ancestry and then evaluating my Christian faith. Then it was to reconcile what I was learning at home with the world. That led me to educate myself in world religions, philosophies, sciences, cultures, meditation, and somatics. I've had many mentors, teachers, therapists, and guides along the way, but nothing was as transformative and enlightening as when I joined my first men's group almost twenty years ago.

There's something so fundamental about men gathering for the purpose of their healing and growth. In these groups, we tackled careers, leadership, money, relationships, addictions, and more. The hard part for me was there were very few men who looked like me or had any understanding of the challenges someone like men faced on a daily basis.

So this brings me to why I've created a gathering space for men of color.

Healing - Most often we make attempts to do this work as a solo project. I think bell hooks was on the money when she said, “Rarely if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion.” When men can hold a sacred space for other men, it creates an environment where we can safely explore the depths of our wounds, emotions, and beliefs about our world. This radical self-discovery leads to a new awareness or an opening up for men to see their true selves. Being in a men's group is not therapy, though it could feel therapeutic. And that alone can be freeing.

Growth - In my work I see so many boys masquerading as men. And there are numerous reasons why that is. Through men's work, we create the foundation for maturation to happen. This occurs through heart-centered dialogues that are meant to challenge our limiting beliefs of who we are being to become the kind of mature men our women, children, and workplaces need.

Nurture Relationships - There's a saying that goes, "conquer the devil with a thing called love". In opposition to pop culture beliefs on masculinity, it is love that brings us together not power. By getting to know love, building our empathy, and compassion for others, we can nurture meaningful and intimate relationships with women, children, and with other men.

Overcome Isolation - We need each other more than ever. Being among other men can be very powerful in overcoming social isolation which often leads to chronic anxiety and addictive coping strategies. A group of men gives us community, connection, purpose, and accountability.

Build Legacy - To avoid the mistakes of our past, we must invest in what we want to leave for future generations of men. It's here we can begin to transform the culture of manhood so that our sons, and grandsons don't have to repeat our mistakes.

BONUS - Freedom to be Men of Color - There are many things our white-bodied counterparts don't understand or appreciate. Being among Black and Brown men gives us the freedom to express ourselves without that sense of oppression that comes along with living within White led spaces.

This is by no means a comprehensive list of reasons to join a group for men of color. You may have your own personal reasons, and those are welcome and included as well. Men have been creating gatherings like this for centuries. I've come to believe that as we spend time with good men, we become better men together. And our women, children, families, and friends will thank us for it. This is more than an investment in you, it's an investment in us for today and tomorrow.