What is coaching?
I’ve been asked this question many times, “what is coaching?”. So I thought I would write a brief description of how I understand coaching and of course I’ve had to add some color and context to the matter.
Starting With Self-Help
The idea that we can improve the Self is an ancient one with roots that may pre-date mythology, organized religion, and philosophies of the human experience. In many ancient traditions, it was essential for the survival of a village that children develop into purposeful adults. It was the role of spiritual elders, shamans, and gurus to guide an individual through ceremonies to ensure one's personal development happens. They are commonly referred to as rites of passage or initiations.
Along with the industrial revolution in Europe and the West, came the idea that the responsibility for one’s development fell on the Self. In the 1859 book titled “Self-Help” by Samuel Smiles, it opened with “Heaven helps those who help themselves”.
And I can imagine that every business leader, at least once in their lives has read classics like Napolean Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich” or Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. They could be seen as the genesis of the modern self-help or self-improvement movement, which has exploded into a multibillion-dollar industry that spans most of the developed world.
Today, it has informed and been shaped by modern psychology, new age religions, business, technology, sports, arts, and health and wellness. Some have been inspired by more ancient or traditional arts such as yoga and meditation practices. And you can spend just a little time scanning Amazon or your social feeds to find countless books, podcasts, and memes with the latest life-style hacks, affirmations, and tips and tricks promising a life of prosperity, fulfillment, and purpose.
Self-help literature can only suggest better habits or mindsets. The real challenge is applying it with the right amount of commitment and rigor, especially when life gets tough.
If you’re capable anyone can learn on their own how to hit a ball with a bat. However, if you want to be a professional ballplayer, you need coaches that can point out your strengths and flaws, and provide you the skills to play at a very high level. It’s the same with our personal development. We can’t see what we truly need to grow into our fullest expression of Self. It’s like seeing our face without a mirror. We need someone to reflect who we’re being, without judgment or bias.
So… What is Coaching?
You can ask a hundred coaches what coaching is and you will get one hundred variations of the same thing. Coaching is a creative dialogical process, where your life you’re living and the life you want, whether it be personal or professional is the big agenda.
The International Coaches Federation (ICF), the international governing body for professional coaches, defines coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.
Coaches are naturally creative and curious. They are a unique combination of investigators, mentors, motivational speakers, provocateurs, trainers, and best-friends.
Coaches see your life from a range of perspectives you haven’t seen before. Through a range of skills and powerful questions, they guide you to parts of your Self you wouldn’t go on your own, with the intention to reveal more creative resources you may never thought you had. Coaches can help you see blind spots, limiting beliefs, and saboteurs that may be getting in the way of living a fulfilled life. Coaches can help bring awareness to what is deeply important to you. They can help process fears and anxieties and memories of the past - only to gain access to new creative resources, longings, and desires. Coaches are unbiased sounding boards when you need to talk through difficult or challenging times. They are trainers when it comes to learning and practicing new life habits, skills, and mindsets that could be applied to self-care, leadership, relationships, and more. Coaches are champions for your agenda, for your life.
A coach is your personal shaman.