Coaching in Challenging Times
A day in the life of anyone can be hard enough at the best of times. In recent times, the world has become strangely less certain and unsafe, which in itself stirs up feelings of anxiety, fears, resentment, and grief. Some people have responded to this time by gritting their teeth and pushing through - toughing it out. While others may be feeling overwhelmed and disoriented by external pressures to keep up, sucking out the last bits of their creative resource, leaving them feeling stuck.
On either end of the spectrum, we’re experiencing levels of stress and anxiety we haven’t seen before. And when these feelings are not experienced consciously they can develop into other emotional challenges like burnout, depression, and self-destructive behaviors.
And it’s not just about the emotions we’re contending with, it’s the stories that come with them. The unconscious internal dialogue of the way we things happening to us. It’s the stories that keep us locked into ways of being that recreates the experiences of anxiety and fear, and cutting off access to more spacious and creative resources that we need to move forward.
How can coaching help?
The essence of coaching is dialoguing to create consciousness of self. It’s a conversation that is meant to explore, where you are today, what got you here, who you are becoming, and where you can create alignment between your present and the future you envision for yourself.
An experienced or qualified coach can create a safe and compassionate space to experience these stories and stressful emotions so they can flow through you, rather than forced down to fester into bigger problems. And open you to new perspectives of creativity, aliveness, and purpose.
I must clarify, that coaching is not therapy. Coaching can help you process what’s happening at the moment to aid you to move forward. If you are dealing with more deeply rooted challenges, like depression or addictions, you should seek the help of a therapist.
What can you do on your own?
Though there are so many advantages of working with a coach (I’ve explained in another post), there are tools you can utilize to achieve some of the same results.
The one tool I lean on the most and teach my clients to do regularly is journalling (which I’ll write about extensively). You’ll need a paper notebook and a reliable pen. It is so commonsensical why a paper notebook versus using your computer but there’s also enough research out there why writing with a pen on paper is a much more resonate human experience than doing this work via a keyboard and a screen.
Borrowing from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, there are two rules you must abide by. First set aside time every morning to write in your journal. Make it a habit and ritual like brushing your teeth after you wake up. Second, write a minimum of three pages of anything and everything that comes to mind. Regardless of how big or small the thought is.
The last piece is having some journal prompts that can guide your writing. And if you’re experiencing a challenging time and don’t have access to a coach, I would suggest starting with the following prompts.
Spending time with your current situation consider and complete the following sentence stems:
The story I’m telling myself is…
The story I’m telling others is…
When I put attention to my chest, stomach, shoulders, or other bodily parts I’m experiencing…
These stories, feelings, and emotions remind me of …. in my past.
The story I would like to grow into is…
Living this new story would give me… and give others…
Start with these sentences, get curious, and expand on them. Feel free to get creative. This can be provocative, expansive, and enlightening work if you give yourself permission. And if you are currently using a coach, share what you discovered with them by using these prompts.