Say Yes to What Matters

We're always at choice. Though we're not always aware that there's a choice being made. In every moment we're saying yes or no to something. The challenge for most of us is that we're so busy being busy not all of our choices are aligned with what is deeply important to us. As a consequence, our lives are often taken adrift by the demands of our day. We may find ourselves constantly reacting to episodes in life, worry, anxiety, our emotions, draining the creative energy that creates a life rich in fulfillment, joy and meaning.

Like Stephen Covey wrote in The Seven Habits, "We say yes or no to things daily, usually many times a day. A center of correct principles and a focus on our personal mission empowers us with wisdom to make those judgments effectively."

Being a great man in any domain of our lives requires attention, concentration, focus and patience. More importantly, it requires clarity of what is deeply important to us. Knowing what values or principles we hold as true when it comes to our work, relationships, culture, with God and nature, and what we long for or envision for ourselves and others empowers us to make wiser choices.

If we find ourselves consumed by pressing problems, deadlines, crises, distractions, and our emotions then we must ask ourselves "How is what I'm doing right now contributing to what really matters? In this moment, who am I being? And if I am I saying yes to this what am I saying no to?"

It was the Stoic philosopher, Seneca, who said, "He who is everywhere is nowhere."

To be more affective in life we must eliminate what distracts us from what matters most. This may include eliminating activities, habits, or ways we cope with our emotions that do not empower us in our work, personal relationships and self-care.

Marcus Aurelius wrote in Meditations, "You could be good today, but instead you choose tomorrow."

How often do you put things off that are deeply important to you? How often have you procrastinated, dismissed or put aside your aspirations, dreams, desires, and wants? How have you put off nurturing your most important relationships, your health and well-being, or contributing to your community? What is it costing you in the end?

I've heard from many of my clients, "I want a fulfilling life but I don't have the time, energy, or discipline to do it." While that may be true, when we lack clarity of what's truly important to us, we can make any excuse for not living the life we long for.

A sign of a mature man is having clarity of what he holds as important, for himself and the people in his life. He is responsible to uphold what matters most, is not entangled with his emotions and does not waste time on trivial, energy sucking activities such as arguing, gossip, resenting his past or worrying about his future. He recognizes that he is always at choice. He says yes to what matters and eliminates everything else.