Journal Exercise - Where are you?
You wouldn't plan a trip without knowing what it is you want, where you want to go, and how you're going to get there. Yet, we go about our daily lives just like that. Should it be any surprise how many of us feel stuck, frustrated, confused, or unfulfilled?
One of the first exercises I give my clients is called the Wheel of Life. It sounds cheesy but it can create interesting insights. It's an exploratory exercise to find clarity of where are you now, what it is you want, and how you want to get there.
Where Are You Now?
We tend to cast general feelings about our lives. Unconsciously, we can allow negative feelings from work to spill into how we feel about our relationships, home life, and health and wellbeing. And when we do this we find it hard to source inspiration or creativity anywhere - even from those things that may actually be working for us.
We have many roles and domains in life. When we can see them separate from each other we can discern which areas we truly feel unfulfilled from those that are actually working.
How do you feel about your career?
How would you rate your satisfaction with your relationships, health, money, or relationship with your faith or spirit?
How do you feel about your family?
And where do you want to be in these areas?
Narrow Your Focus
Looking to transform your life can be a daunting undertaking and can overwhelm the best of us. Instead of trying to change your entire life, identify two or three areas you can focus on. You’ll be surprised how narrowing your focus may be enough to evoke transformation in other domains.
How do you want to be here? How do you want to show up? How do you want to express yourself in this domain? By getting clear of how you want to be, you begin to own your life. You begin to develop a sense of self-authority and renewed creative energy.
What’s Possible Now?
What’s possible now? What would life look like if you were fully expressed in this area of your life? What kind of impact or contribution do you want to make? How would you focus your creative energy?
This stage is too early to lock into setting goals. Remain open to any number of possibilities. We need to know we're going someplace and not aimlessly wandering about but have room to explore and continue to ask the big questions. What’s important here is to set some intentions that will inspire your creativity in this domain.
By having an idea of where it is you want to be, you can begin to take steps towards creating that possibility. You'll become more efficient in your decision-making and stop wasting time on activities, habits, and thoughts that will slow you down as you design specific actions you want to take.
Your Homework
Yes, some homework. Bring out your journal and following along.
Journal Exercise
1) Score Your Life. Let’s get clear on where you are in your life. You will need a journal for this exercise. For each of the domains in your life, give it a number rating between 1-10. One being least satisfied and ten being fulfilled in every aspect.
Life Domains
Spiritual: Your connection to God
Intellectual: Your engagement with significant ideas
Emotional: Your psychological health
Physical: Your bodily health
Marital: Your spouse or significant other
Parental: Your children if you have any
Social: Your friends and extended family
Vocational: Your profession
Avocational: Your hobbies and pastime
Financial: Your personal or family finances
Reflect on why you gave it the rating that you did. And be honest with yourself. The more clarity you have of your level of satisfaction and fulfillment within a domain the easier it will be for you to move forward.
Did you give some domains a three or a ten? And why? What’s the story you tell yourself about the rating? Or maybe you have a persistent belief that’s impacting multiple domains. Is there a particular goal you haven’t been able to achieve? What is in your way?
What would it mean to you if you could change your rating by one or two points? What impact could it have in other areas of your life? If you were fully satisfied what’s possible?
2) Prioritize. Identify which domains you will like to make a priority - for now. All of the domains are important to you. Trying to keep all ten in your mind can be overwhelming. By focusing on the top two or three can help your focus. Once you begin doing the work, you'll see results and confidence improve in other areas as well.
3) Make a Commitment. A commitment has to do with how you want to be in creating this part of your life. For example, I’m committing to being present and supportive as a parent. Or I’m committing to being fully self-expressed, creative, and open to feedback in my vocation. Your commitment may highlight values or strengths you want to honor in that domain. Get clear on how you want to show up in this work.
Once you do this exercise, don’t throw it away. You want to come back to this every three to six months to see how you’re progressing. That’s why I would suggest you do this work in your journal.