Building Resilience
It goes without saying that we’re living in unusually stressful times. Most of us have not experienced the magnitude of disruption or uncertainty we are seeing these days - mostly because of a simple virus.
Let’s not forget we had high levels of stress before the pandemic. And it will continue to be so once we’re safely in the clear. Mainly because the lives we’ve created for ourselves continuously demand more of us, not less. I could go onto a tangent about the sustainability of how we work - but I’ll save that for another time.
What I’m seeing among some of my clients is that they’re finding it harder to keep up with the additional pressures of today’s work. They are experiencing high levels of stress, anxiety, and fear within themselves and in their working relationships. And they believe they must deal with it, accept it for now and tough it out.
If you can relate to this in some way I want to remind you how important it is to build resilience into your day-to-day.
What do I mean by resilience?
Resilience is not about having more focused time and toughing it out. Resilience is not just about how you deal with stress, uncertainty, or conflict. Resilience is not about doing more - though that could happen as a consequence.
Resilience is about how we rebound, snapback, recoil from one situation into the next. And living things have a natural capacity for resilience.
The other day I was sitting by the waterfront. And a gust of wind had come across the lake stirring the trees along the shore. I observed the leaves as they flickered and the thinnest branches had started to sway. As the wind picked up, so did the pace at which the leaves and branches stirred. However, the thicker branches and the trunk barely moved at all.
There’s a natural resilience in the DNA of a tree, which comes handily to withstand more environmental stress. It would take an exceptional amount of wind and force to take a tree down.
We too embody a natural resilience. In most of life’s challenges, we can sway with the moment. We can take things on and bounce back to a centered and balanced way of being, relatively easily. However, when we are continuously overworked or stressed our resilience is compromised and it becomes harder to find our center. Over time, this way of being becomes normalized and we find ourselves locked in survival mode, trying harder to keep up.
So what can you do?
When I think of building resilience, I think of 3 key areas to focus on: the self, social, and mindset.
Self
I often use the analogy of putting on your life vest or your oxygen mask first. You’re no good to anyone if you’re not taking care of your physical, mental, and spiritual self. These aspects of us require constant care and attention. They require proper foods, rest, and relaxation to recover from stressful situations and return to a centered and balanced life. Here are just a few things you can incorporate into your daily routine.
Meditation, quiet time, prayer
Yoga, exercise, nature walks
Water and eating well
Learning something new, hobbies
Journalling
Social
We are more than social creatures. We’re herd animals. We need to experience intimacy, love, contribution, compassion, fun, and joy in the presence of others. We thrive when we’re in connection with family and friends. If our only purposeful relationships are centered on stress, our resilience will deplete over time. However, when we can contribute to our communities in a positive way we’re out of our heads and embodying joy and fulfillment.
Dinner, recreation, travel with friends and family
Volunteering
Phone or meet with someone
Acts of random kindness
Mindset
How we experience the world is greatly influenced by how we see it. If all we see are our stressors, we have no ability to see opportunities for creativity or fulfillment.
Avoid multitasking
Get help or delegate things
Focus on what’s working
Learn from your mistakes
Practice gratitude
Acknowledge yourself and others
Avoid complaining, gossip, comparing, judging yourself, others, and situations
Yes, our world is unpredictable and uncertain. And it will continue to be that way beyond the pandemic. However, the practices I’ve suggested here will help to keep you grounded and rebound effectively from most stressful situations.