Life Lessons: The Power of Word
I heard Maya Angelou say in a speech, "People will very often try to respond to you on the level on which you address them. So if you say, 'Aren't you wonderful!' ... people will try to lift themselves up to that." There is a karmic quality in how we express ourselves. If we are pleasant, kind and respectful with our words, people will respond in kind. If we are inconsiderate and disrespectful we invite others to do the same. This also applies with our self talk. We'll have a hard time navigating life if our internal dialogue is self-deprecating or consumed with complaining and finding everything wrong with ourselves and the world. However, if we recognize the magical and creative power of our words and use them wisely, the world opens up to us.
The Virtue of Right Speech
Many years ago when I was studying Buddhism I learned how everything we do matters. Within everything there is wisdom, meaning, and possibility. One particular area of study was Right Speech. When the Buddha spoke about cultivating Right Speech he learned how the quality of our speech reflected our inner wisdom or the wounds of our ego or shadow self. So a Buddhist's virtue is to abstain from lying, divisive and abusive speech, and from gossip and only speak to what is true and beneficial to everyone.
The First Agreement
The first agreement written by Don Miguel Ruiz is the agreement of being impeccable with your word. To be impeccable is to be without sin, or wanting to cause harm to yourself or others. He too, recognizes the creative power our words have, including to cast spells that confuse, mislead and divide us. And that our choices of words are a double-edged sword in that being impeccable with your word includes not using your word against yourself.
Our words can be gifts in the form of insights, perspectives, acknowledgements, prayer, poetry or song. They can also be weapons used to divide and destroy. When we speak simply with kindness, courtesy and respect we can connect on a deeper level. We can foster ideas, thoughts and opinions that have the potential to grow into something useful and meaningful, including our own healing from whatever burden that's in our way. However, when we speak from a reactive place or use derogatory, vulgar or violent words, we are hurting ourselves and the people we're talking too. We destroy any connection, trust, and credibility.
To be virtuous or impeccable with our word, requires us to be responsible and conscious of how we speak. It requires us to be thoughtful, honest and humble. And from this place our words can liberate us. Maya Angelou said, "Try to introduce courtesy into your speech to each other. You have no idea what it will do for your brother or sister to whom you speak. And you surely have no idea of what it will do for you. It will lift you up."
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Reflect on your own speech.
What’s does being impeccable with your word mean to you?
How much time and energy do you spend complaining, critiquing, gossiping, judging or shaming yourself and others?
How much time do you spend uplifting yourself and others with words of gratitude, appreciation, ideation, curiosity?
Who do your words build connection, understanding, intimacy or build division, misunderstanding and defensiveness?
If you practiced more consciousness in your speech what would be possible? What would change?